Superwoman Syndrome

I think you can learn a lot in this profession from observing other attorneys. You can learn what to do, and perhaps more importantly, what not to do. I bought my first house in January and the added responsibilities tied to the house have made my days a bit longer. To be honest, that is an understatement. In reality, I can no longer keep up. As I was sitting at my desk feeling like a failure because my lawn is so high that it will need to be baled (luckily dad's a farmer so I can borrow the tractor), the fresh vegetables from my garden need to be frozen before they go to waste and I desperately need to do some ironing, I decided to observe the other attorneys around me to see how they are able to get these things done. But during my observations, I began to realize that the male attorneys I know had a bit more time to spend in the office than the female attorneys.

Once I realized this unfortunate fact, I decided to start paying more attention to the other female lawyers around me in an attempt to figure out why so many of us are always so busy that there's no time to sit down and read a good book (unless it's law-related) or take a relaxing bath. Not to state the obvious, but the legal profession is filled to the brim with stress, due dates, pressures, time constraints and a great deal of responsibility. Through my observations, I noticed that, although I was often stressed out by work, life and all the many obligations, the male attorneys seemed to handle the stress better. I did not care for this observation, so I decided I had to investigate this phenomenon and figure out what the heck was going on. In fact, I had a conversation about this issue with one of the male attorneys that I am fortunate to be able to have as a mentor. I told him that I could not figure out how he could stay at work so late every single night and still get things done at home. His response was that he was pretty much taken care of- i.e., he has a wife who cleans the house, makes him dinner and does the laundry.

And then it hit me. What I began to realize was that most female attorneys have Superwoman Syndrome. By Superwoman Syndrome, I don't mean that we have super-strength or that we don our blue masks and fly to the courthouse with blue capes flapping in the wind with a big red "S" painted on our chests. If Superwoman Syndrome was a legal term, Black's Law Dictionary would describe it as:

Superwoman Syndrome: a condition or characteristic pattern of behavior by which one thinks they are a superwoman. One is usually diagnosed with Superwoman Syndrome in the late 20s or early 30s, but some show symptoms at an earlier age. It is unknown whether Superwoman Syndrome is genetic or created by societal pressures, but it is thought to be present at birth. One inflicted with Superwoman Syndrome does not know her limits and believes that she can do anything and everything-all at one time. When left untreated, Superwoman Syndrome can cause complete burn-out, disillusionment and the inability to practice law.

As lawyers, we are members of a profession that requires more time and energy than the typical career. But, the problem is, we're not just lawyers. We're also mothers, daughters, sisters, granddaughters and friends. We have families to take care of, friends to spend time with, houses to clean, healthy dinners to cook, perfect parties to plan, lawns to mow, laundry to do, bills to pay, groceries to buy, lives to live. Then there are workouts, pro bono hours, and volunteer work. Dare I even say that we also need time to have a little fun!? Sometimes it is nearly enough to make your head spin. Yet, most of us refuse to admit that we have limits and do it all anyway. Instead of just letting our head spin, we polish our shiny blue cape and knee-high boots and keep on trucking through the to-do list.

Although this seemed to work quite well for Linda Evans, it is pretty hard to sustain in the real world for any extended period of time. Yet, we try it anyway. Some of us will succeed; some of us will burn out. We'll look around in five or 10 years and many of us will no longer be practicing law. Some of us will leave the profession to raise a family or pursue other avenues like so many female attorneys before us. But, if you're one of the many Superwoman Syndrome-inflicted attorneys who want this to be a lifetime career, how do you survive and thrive in a profession that tends to push until you snap?

I suppose the first step is realizing that you have Superwoman Syndrome. Although I was recently diagnosed with Superwoman Syndrome, I have suffered from this affliction since I was quite young. Until recently, I used to stay up until all hours of the night in an attempt to cross a few more things off my to-do list each day. But, as I grow older, I am beginning to realize that I am simply not capable of doing this any longer. I first realized that I had Superwoman Syndrome when it began manifesting itself in physical symptoms-constant headaches, knotted muscles, neck and shoulder problems, TMJ Syndrome and various other troublesome ailments. I've been able to take control of these physical symptoms through many, many visits to my chiropractor, frequent and painful massage therapy sessions and lots and lots of yoga. That's when I realized it was time to give myself a break.

Perhaps that's the answer. Break down your to-do list into three segments: (1) must get done today, (2) should get done today, and (3) wouldn't it be nice if this got done today. Make sure you get all items in the first segment done each day. Do your best to get the items in segment two done each day. Then, if you have time and energy at the end of the day, work on segment three. You're probably thinking that this is nothing new-that this is what you already do. But here's the new part-if you can't get to segment three, don't sweat it. The lawn will still be there to mow. The dishes aren't going anywhere (unfortunately).

As I look into my kitchen right now, the pile of dirty dishes annoys the hell out of me as I fight off thoughts that I'm a failure as a woman for not keeping up with my housecleaning. My pile of folded, clean laundry sits in a laundry basket in my bedroom. The dust is gathering on my living room furniture. I haven't done my yoga today. And, yes, my lawn needs to be mowed. But it's 11:00 p.m., it's been a long day and my alarm will go off in exactly six hours. It's time to catch some zzzzz's.

In other words, it's time to give ourselves a break. After all, we're only human.

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Ms. Fritsch is with the law firm of Cliffe, Foster, Corneille, Buick & Buick, LLC and a member of the ISBA Women in the Law Committee.